Excuse me, but have you seen my December?
I seem to have misplaced it. It is just a big blur of white.
Connecticut (it snowed twice):
tree at the New Haven green (Kara, I really was just like Rory!)
Combined with a small-scale Christmas of warmth and laughter with family and friends (and Wii Music handbell performances), it was an incredible end to 2008. And hey, at this point I’m only four days late in declaring myself ready for the New Year as far as the calendar is concerned!
Now it is time for the New Year pensive. DH always tells me I speak only in abstractions, but changing that is not one of my resolutions so feel free to skim on:
I’ve really enjoyed the year-end reviews splashing across various blogs these past few weeks. (An an especial congrats to those making big changes, like Nashville’s newest homeowner!) And as always, I was delighted to find peeps who expressed exactly what I’d been feeling. Erin (who tends to do this quite a bit) pretty much summed up my view of New Year’s a few days ago, writing that she loved the process of reevaluating her life and making changes for the better–even if the changes themselves can be an extended process (Erin, is that an apt paraphrase? Oh, and I dislike New Year’s Eve, too!).
2008 was the first year of my life that I’ve felt old (I’m 26, so I guess it is about time). I suppose that feeling came with the realization that my options are not as plentiful as they once were. That statement is not nearly as pessimistic as it might read–rather, I feel like I have explored lots of options, which requires accepting some things into my life and excluding others. Sometimes this process is a choice, sometimes not. I have always found it hard to live with the realization that I can’t be everything, so the exclusion is the trying part.
Yet it is intensely freeing to know that I have chosen to be this person, and, upon arrival at a rather arbitrary calendric marker that still somehow feels entirely right, to evaluate and lay out steps to be a better one. Nearly all of my resolutions fall into the category of increasing my sense of purpose–how I eat, how I move (note I did NOT say exercise! I haven’t changed that much!), how I talk to and about other people, how I prioritize my time. Most of all I want to get over this grad-school-induced isolation and talk to people again. I miss people, and having conversations that don’t rely on a display of intelligence but rather compassion (hint: one I have, the other not so much!!).
I don’t know where you are, but I hope you have had one of those humbling moments of clarity sometime in your life when you realize how important certain decisions in your past were in the creation of who you are today. And I also hope that however hard those decisions were to make, and however difficult the repercussions of those choices were to live out, you are happy to be the person that resulted from them.
Oh, and I want to make a decent pair of pants. But more about that later…